I wasn’t prepared to be hit with an illuminating therapy session when I bought tickets for Four Christmases on Thanksgiving weekend, but I sure enough received one!
There’s a moment when Kate (Reese Witherspoon) realizes that she’s interested in taking her 3-year-old relationship with Brad (Vince Vaughn) character to another level – one that might involve a wedding ring and a couple of kids.
When Brad catches wind of this, he gets defensive and reminds Kate that when they first started dating, they promised each other that they’d never become “that couple”. Instead they would remain two people who could enjoy all of the benefits of dating without any of the inconveniences. Brad points out that by asking him to develop their courtship, Kate is breaking their initial rules.
But here’s the part that shook me. After Brad scolds her for going back on her word, Kate confesses that she is indeed changing the rules. She admits that although she didn’t plan for it to happen, her desires evolved, and she just wants more. And with that exchange, Four Christmases shattered years of dating logic that I’d been utilizing since high school!
See, in the past, when dating, I’ve prided myself on how transparent I’ve been – the young lady and I always appear to agree that we want to keep our courtship fun and light without the weight of exclusivity – at first.
But toward the middle of the relationship, the terms of our bond would become questionable when my girl would propose – through a series of hints – that we become “more serious”. This shift would always throw me for a loop, because I couldn’t understand how her rules had changed!
This movie slapped me in my green face by expressing the dilemma in a way I’d never seen it enacted before. It might be irrational, but people’s expectations and desires do change: I guess that they’re allowed to.
And all I was hoping for was some laughs! Geez!
What was the last movie that you saw that unexpectedly rocked your philosophy on romance or life?