I’m still not convinced that the Black Eyed Peas’ latest album The E.N.D. is really an “album” at all. No, I suspect that it’s actually an artistic creation that we humans inherited from a party-obsessed clan of extraterrestrials. I’ll explain my theory.
I imagine that while aboard their aircraft, some alien crew managed to concoct a sound so hazardously infectious that their ship exploded from an energy overload. Their ship’s black box – which recorded the final moments of their lethal jamfest – fell down to earth, where a team of savvy technicians from Interscope Records discovered it and decided to pass it off as a Black Eyed Peas album.
Yes, I’ve fallen under the influence of The E.N.D. and concluded that this set of recordings was not intended for our earthling ears to comprehend. But before you listen to the disc, I’ll warn you by sharing a couple of its side effects that I’ve encountered:
-I’ve become delusional: I’m certain that I can hear the Peas dancing inside of each song on the disc. will.i.am limbos underneath the thumping beats with his vocoder-assisted warbling. Meanwhile, Fergie’s throaty delivery turns sonic somersaults, apl.de.ap does the robot with his stacatto spitting, and Taboo’s flexible flow is the lyrical equivalent of a break-dancing performance.
-Hallucinations are becoming frequent: The first night I popped this album in my car’s CD player, I was vacantly driving alone to a party. But by the time track 5, “I Gotta Feeling”, hit its stride, all 4 of the Peas suddenly appeared in the backseat of my car. I still remember them hyping me up by chanting “Tonight’s gonna be a good night.” Turns out they knew what they were talking about!
If my enthusiasm for The E.N.D. sounds hyperbolic by this point, please forgive me. Just write it off as a by-product of this album’s thrilling magnetism.
PS: How awkward is it that radio stations censor “Boom Boom Pow’s” use of the term “satellite radio”?Related Posts